|Litany of Clichés
I will not abandon ship,
For after the rains, there are rainbows,
Especially here, in America,
The melting pot of the world,
Where someone’s always the apple
Of someone’s eye, and it’s a living hell,
A shot in the dark.
But, better late than never, for I am
A black sheep, speaking what comes to my mind,
And writing it down exactly the same way I
Thought about it, and nothing needs to be changed,
It is perfect. It’s like the blind leading the blind,
The same with the broken heart, but there’s the calm
Before the storm, and like the caterpillar that turns
Into a butterfly, I’m always chasing rainbows.
I always look for clouds with silver linings
Even if they are cold as ice, or maybe cold-hearted.
No! Maybe warm-blooded! It’s crystal clear to me now.
This is because I dance to the beat of a different drummer!
Or is it the same drummer with a different beat?
What the hell! It’s always darkest before dawn,
Because Death is the gateway to life, and
Every rose has it thorns.
I can look into the eye of the needle, but
If the camel can’t fit, will I? For I am,
After all, fat as a pig and this makes me afraid,
For fear makes you run, no, stay, no, yes, run,
And I must follow my heart, and make
Footprints in the sand,
From the bottom of my heart.
I will go against the current!
For it is God’s mysterious way!
It is God’s will! Jesus be praised!
Good things come to those who wait,
For good things come in tiny packages,
So don’t be in a hurry, for haste makes waste!
Oh, boy, do I have a heart of stone, and it’s hell,
And hell comes from inside, no, from outside,
No, from downside, no wait, from upside…my head,
And Hell hath no freakin’ fury like some woman scorned!
And there’s hell to pay for it, when I’m on a high horse,
Where I can be myself, you can be yourself,
She can be herself, he can be herself,
(Yes, nowadays he can be herself)
And dogs and cats can be themselves.
Now, I can’t change the past,
Because I did it my way, not your way,
Not his way, not her way,
Not the professor’s way!
I know, if at first you don’t succeed,
If it doesn’t kill you,
I’ll always love you, I’ll always remember.
After all, I’m only human,
And I will never forget you!
And I know, deep in my heart,
Kissing is a game. Honestly,
This is my original conclusion.
But I will find the light at the end of the tunnel,
Unless I’m dead, then I won’t go into the light,
No, I won’t! Don’t you go into the light
Either, Carol Ann! The Poltergeist will get you!
Ah, but Carol Ann’s mom and I fit like
Hand and glove, like shoe and foot,
Like galoshes and rain, like snow
And snow plow, grass and lawnmowers.
And her lips are red like roses.
And boy, do I love life.
Life is like…
Ah, yes, tell me one more time,
Why don’t you?
I knew a little angel once.
I knew a little devil, once.
But, lo and behold!
I’m a lone wolf!
But, shhh, I have a secret.
I found out love is like a rose,
And the man in the mirror is me!
And I’m here, somewhere in
Freakin’ Never-never land!
But nobody’s perfect.
If I don’t have any guts,
I’ll have no glory!
And if I’m not in pain, I’m
Not going to gain I don’t know what.
Whoopee freakin’ do!
I fear nothing, except of course, FEAR!
Be afraid, yourself, be very afraid!
But let’s take it one day at a time.
No, let’s take it one step at a time, instead.
No, no, let’s take BABY steps.
Let’s crawl before we walk.
Let’s walk before we run.
Let’s cross at the green and not in between!
Why don’t we?
However, there are other fish in the sea.
So let’s pull the plug on the ocean and
Gather up those fishies.
I know, I know, parting is such sweet sorrow.
I’m really going to miss you, NOT!
Because you’re going to miss ME!
I’m so sorry for what I just did,
I put all of my eggs into one basket.
It fell, and now I have an omelet.
Oh, a tisket and a tasket, I
Dropped my freakin’ yellow basket!
Sorry again, it’s just that my love
Is pure as a dove, but she’s not even
A freakin’ virgin anymore!
I made sure of that!
Okay, okay! I’ll be quiet as a mouse.
I guess I’m running on empty.
And shit happens, sooner or later!
Why? Because I’m looking, once again,
For my freakin’ soul mate!
You know, I tried looking for those streets of gold,
And can’t find one! Where are they?
There’s no word. There must be a reason.
Oh, Shakespeare, I know the world’s a stage,
But could you take this thorn from out my side,
And get me off this freakin’ stage!
I feel like I’m dying up here.
But, through thick and thin,
I like to tilt at windmills,
And tomorrow is another day,
And I’ve put in my two cents,
And I feel as ugly as that stupid duckling,
And until hell freezes over,
Or pigs fly,
I know waiting is the hardest part,
And I know God is watching from above,
(This rhymes with love)
(The way snow rhymes with go)
And we are each alone.
Although, some fit together like…
(Okay, forget that one)
And when it rains, it pours.
(Not the way clumpy salt pours)
For when the going gets tough,
I work like a dog, and you’ll have a place
In my heart, because you know you
Make my heart sing, you’re
My one and only,
You’re the light of my life,
The wind beneath my wings,
The chewing gum beneath my shoes,
(Alright, alright, forget that one too!)
Because, when all is said and done,
I get this feeling of déjà vu.
|P O E T I C O N